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photo by Caren Parmelee
This is what I’ve been thinking about lately: how common it is to hear people creating, accepting, validating, normalizing, and choosing limitation– and how easy it is to do that yourself.
Think about it. When speaking with others, how often do you witness exchanges like this?
Person One: A friend of mine just started his own company, and he’s doing great!
Person Two: That can be so difficult. I bet he’s got no time to himself anymore. It can take years for a small business to make a profit. How does his wife feel about the risk?
I don’t know about you, but I hear exchanges like this a lot. Or get responses like this when I’m sharing joy & good. Or– and this is the worst– catch myself doing it!
Well, I’ve decided that if I have a New Year’s Resolution beyond state my worth/make more money, it’s this: no more free passes on stating limitations, because I believe that those statements CREATE limitations.
In the past, when I’ve heard someone lay down the kind of negative thinking I outlined above, I have tended to go silent and just mentally stand my ground for good. From now on, I’m speaking up. I want to be an agent for good in my own life and in the lives of those I touch, and I think finding a loving way to bring us all up verbally is a good step in that direction.
Last night, I was talking to my mom, and she gave me a terrific opportunity to take this kind of stand. She was so tired, curled up on her bed, and I was saying goodnight to her at the end of a lovely Christmas. She laid out her work schedule for me in a tone that suggested that the prospect of putting in all those hours was weighing on her heavily. I said, “I bet it will be easy and fun, and you’ll be so happy to get that paycheck at the end of it all!”
She thought for a moment and said, “Ok.”
That’s it. That’s what I’m working on from now on. You tell me someone started a company, and I want to say,: “That’s awesome! Good for that guy for taking his life into his own hands!”
Stand Up Paddle Boarder by Glenn Simmons
I’ve been answering questions about what I want for Christmas and thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2012, and I realized today that the lists are really similar. It turns out that I’m thinking about fitness and business these days, and that’s about all. (Honestly I’m more excited about what I’ll be giving than getting this year, but it would be a major spoiler if I published my to-give list here.)
My number-one wish on the Christmas list is a stand up paddle board & paddle, and I’ll take the whole package or a contribution towards it. It’s so high on the list, in fact, that if December 25 comes and goes without one arriving, I’ll be working towards getting one for myself. I’ve only done it twice so far, but man! I love it! § Read the rest of this entry…
I’ve been reading and listening to a lot of non-fiction books in the last couple of years from two categories: spirituality and business/marketing. You’d think that these categories would have little overlap, but there are three words that come up in virtually all of them: Visualization, Intention, & Belief.
In the spiritually focused books, the idea is that by visualizing what you want in life, you become comfortable with the idea of receiving those “things”– they become real as potential, which allows them to become real in actuality. Clarifying your intention– knowing what you truly *want* is critical in moving towards it. If you don’t have your desire clearly in your thought, how can you realize that desire? And your belief that you can have the things you’ve asked for is necessary as you move towards it, or else your footsteps will lack conviction, and your path will not be straight.
In the business & marketing books, the language is almost identical, but with a business-specific focus. Visualize your successful business, and you’re far more likely to achieve it than if you’re visualizing your potential failure or not imagining anything at all. Clarify your intention- what are you trying to accomplish in your business endeavor? If you don’t know that, how on earth can you succeed? And believe in your own success. If you meet challenges on the road to getting your business up & running, what will motivate you to move through them if you don’t really believe in your own eventual success?
I believe that Truth comes to us through the channels we’re most receptive to, so I have to guess that these ideas have value in my life. I’ve been working harder to visualize the things I want in life and in business. I’m making huge strides lately in clarifying my intentions in business and in life, and I have become very sensitive to the areas in which I need to shore up my belief in my likely success. § Read the rest of this entry…
§ November 19th, 2011 § Filed under Thoughts § Tagged being single, dating Leave a Comment- Comments Off
I've got it all figured out!
I’m in a long-term relationship with a man I hope to marry, and I have been for a couple of years now, but before we connected, I’d been single for five years (with a few dates and short relationships scattered in). I was just reading a girlfriend’s blog about being single in her 30s, and two of the things she said inspired me to write this post:
1. She said that the men she’d met in the last year or so had been great, but none of them had inspired strong feelings in her.
2. She spent a lot of time in the blog overall recounting the things she was doing to try to meet men and musing over why she hadn’t clicked with anyone yet.
Here are my thoughts on these things. § Read the rest of this entry…
A while ago, my aunt Nina suggested that I check out the books of Jerry & Esther Hicks. I downloaded a couple of audio versions of their books on the law of attraction, and they’re some of my favorite things to listen to in the car. One of the audio books, The Astonishing Power of Emotions, ends with a “chapter” of Esther speaking as Abraham, the non-physical being she purports to channel. Although my own feelings on channeling are still up in the air, the ideas shared in this chapter are so good that I’ve listened to it over and over, and the idea I spend the most time thinking about is “downstream thinking.”
During this chapter, Esther/Abraham says that human beings live their lives as thought they’re in a canoe paddling upstream. They paddle as hard as they can against the currents that batter them, striving for all of the things they want in life and for all the acclaim that comes with overcoming obstacles and hardships. After illustrating this idea with a lengthy description of the hard-working human struggling against the river, Esther/Abraham pauses dramatically and announces that “nothing that you want is upstream.”
She/they go(es) on to say that what we really need to do is pull our oars out of the river and allow the current to take us downstream to the things our own imagining and intention have laid out for us… and that what our struggles are really doing are taking us away from the things we want– or at best complicating the process of getting them.
I don’t know about you, but I find this metaphor extremely moving, and I believe it to my core. § Read the rest of this entry…
I haven’t maintained a blog or site of my own for the last few years because I’ve been so busy writing & maintaining sites for other people. Today, I decided it was time to start doing it for myself again– mostly to put my money where my mouth is.
I spend a lot of time teaching other people how to blog with purpose and intent, and I heard myself extolling the virtues of a daily blog to a friend yesterday & decided that whether or not she takes my advice, I should.
I’ll figure out the theme as I go along, but I hope to do something worthwhile here. To that end, here is a picture of Baxter, my hilarious dog:
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